Dr. Emily AronoffFor me, music has always been one of the most powerful ways I connect to something greater than myself. Growing up, singing with others wasn’t just a pastime—it was a lifeline. Those moments of harmony, where voices blend and barriers dissolve, were some of my happiest during a complicated childhood. Equipped with a Master’s Degree in Education, decades of childcare experience, and a profound understanding of human development, I’ve only recently come to fully appreciate the pivotal role spirituality plays as one of our developmental domains, uncovering the extraordinary benefits that our focused attention on this aspect can yield.
As a steadfast lover of data and a lifelong learner, my journey into understanding the spiritual development of children deepened profoundly upon reading “The Spiritual Child” by Dr. Lisa Miller. Her description of spirituality as “an inner sense of relationship to a higher power that is loving & guiding” not only captivated me but also illuminated the path ahead. This exploration, deeply rooted in scientific evidence and personal experience, has illuminated the transformative power of nurturing our children’s spiritual growth.
What Is Spiritual Development?
Spirituality transcends religious rituals; it involves cultivating a profound connection to something greater than oneself, seeking meaning, and understanding our place in the universe. This journey is unique to each individual, reflecting the diverse ways we experience and interpret the world around us.
For children, spirituality is often expressed through awe, wonder, and deep curiosity. These are natural instincts that we, as educators and caregivers, have the privilege of nurturing.
Why Spirituality Matters
Spirituality plays a profound role in a child’s development, providing them with the tools to navigate life’s challenges and find meaning in the world around them. Research, including studies by Dr. Lisa Miller, demonstrates a clear link between spirituality and well-being. Engaging with one’s spiritual side is associated with enhanced emotional resilience, academic success, and notably, a reduction in anxiety and depression.
In fact, spirituality has been shown to make individuals 80% less likely to commit suicide, underscoring its critical role as a protective buffer against life’s adversities. These findings emphasize the importance of fostering spirituality in children—not to instill specific beliefs, but to encourage their capacity for awe, wonder, and deep curiosity.
Why Support Spiritual Development in Children?
Nurturing spirituality in children isn’t about instilling a specific belief system. In Jewish tradition, spirituality is woven into rituals, music, and stories—offering time-tested pathways to help children explore their spiritual selves. By supporting their spiritual development, we help children:
- Build confidence and self-awareness.
- Develop empathy and compassion.
- Foster a sense of interconnectedness and belonging.
- Cultivate resilience and reduce anxiety.
Jewish tradition offers a rich foundation for this work, with rituals, songs, and stories that invite children (and adults!) to explore their spiritual selves. By supporting children in this way, we create environments where they can feel secure, curious, and deeply connected to their community and heritage.
How Music and Communal Singing Supports Spiritual Development
There is something undeniably powerful about singing with others. When voices blend together in harmony, a connection is formed that goes beyond words—it’s an act of vulnerability, trust, and unity. Communal singing has long been at the heart of Jewish tradition because it fosters a deep sense of belonging, connection, and spiritual awakening.
For children, participating in group singing can be a profound way to explore spirituality. Here’s how music and communal singing nurture spiritual development:
- Connection to Something Greater: When singing together, individuals feel part of something larger than themselves. Whether it’s a lively campfire song or a quiet Shabbat niggun, the act of raising voices in unison fosters a sense of community and interdependence.
- Emotional Resonance: Music has a unique ability to tap into deep emotions. Singing songs about gratitude, hope, or resilience can help children express and process their feelings while connecting those emotions to spiritual themes.
- Shared Tradition: Jewish music ties us to our heritage and shared history. When children sing traditional prayers or melodies, they not only build a connection to their community but also deepen their understanding of what it means to be part of something timeless and sacred.
- Building Joy and Resilience: Music is a source of joy, and joy is deeply tied to spirituality. Teaching children to express gratitude, celebrate milestones, or simply sing for the sake of singing can help them cultivate resilience and an appreciation for life.
Reflecting on my own childhood, the intentionality of songleaders who guided us made all the difference. They created spaces where we felt seen, heard, and spiritually uplifted. Today, as educators, we have the opportunity to provide those same life-changing experiences to the next generation.
More Ways to Support Spirituality
While music is a powerful tool, there are other ways to help children connect to their spiritual selves. Here are three additional strategies to consider:
Create Reflective Spaces
Encourage children to engage in reflection and mindfulness. Simple practices like spending quiet time alone or discussing the big questions in life can stimulate spiritual thinking.
In my home, I created what the kiddos call the ‘comfy cozy calming corner’ in an under-stair nook, where we share bedtime. I recently had an incredibly validating exchange with my four year old who sat down in the little chair next to the feelings chart, took a deep breath, then said “When my friends would not play with me on the playground at school, I felt left out. I felt invisible. Then, I told my teacher and she said ‘just go play’ and I felt DEFEATED”- this advanced language was made possible by the feelings chart practice (and the Feelings Spots book series that provided the chart).
Foster a Connection with Nature
You already know this one. Allowing ourselves to be inspired by children’s natural sense of wonder in nature invites us to slow down and connect over the true beauty of our world. This mutual exploration can deepen our spiritual connections, reminding us of the simplicity and purity of experiencing life through a child’s eyes. Add a bracha (blessing)from our tradition or your own making to add ritual and grandeur.
Encourage Expressive Arts
Participating in a congregational service is one of the many ways to invite artistic expression that leads to spiritual connection. Whether through music, dance, or art, engaging in these activities can yield great joy and a profound sense of belonging, illustrating the diverse avenues through which spirituality can be explored and expressed.
Model and Share Your Spiritual Journey
It’s essential to recognize that not having all the answers about spirituality or what we believe is not only okay—it’s relatable. Sharing your journey, including the curiosity that led you to explore articles like this, can be incredibly powerful in nurturing a child’s quest for meaning. It’s powerful to grow and explore alongside your child in this realm.
Find Your Village
One of the greatest gifts we can offer our children is a community of like-minded, loving adults who reinforce the values we cherish at home. This supportive network is invaluable, creating a nurturing environment where spiritual and moral values can flourish. It’s about cultivating a space where children feel seen and heard, ensuring they have access to diverse role models who exemplify the virtues of empathy, kindness, and compassion. Engaging with such a community encourages children to extend their spiritual exploration beyond the confines of home, enriching their understanding of the world and their place within it.
Encourage Big Questions
Children are naturally curious, often pondering some of life’s biggest questions. It’s important to honor this curiosity by actively listening to their questions, appreciating the depth of their inquiry. Avoid dismissing their complicated questions with responses like “I don’t know” or “Ask someone else.” Instead, embrace these moments as opportunities for shared exploration. Feel free to say “That is such an incredible question! I need some time to think before I’m ready to answer it.” Though it may feel awkward, sharing your own uncertainties or underdeveloped thoughts can be incredibly powerful, demonstrating that the pursuit of understanding is a journey we all share.
Elevate, Consecrate, Celebrate
In the rich tapestry of our lives, rituals serve as threads that connect us, not only to each other but to something greater than ourselves. Our Jewish heritage offers an incredible array of rituals that can deeply enrich our spiritual lives and nurture our development in this realm. It’s about finding those practices that resonate with you and adapting them to fit the rhythm of your life.
In my own journey, I’ve found ways to weave these rituals into the everyday moments of family life. In the minivan on the way to carpool drop-off, we sing ‘Modeh Ani,’ expressing gratitude and identifying a specific source of it each day. When something new or exciting happens, we say ‘Shehechiyanu,’ marking the moment with a blessing that celebrates new experiences and milestones. And on Fridays, our Shabbat playlist fills the car, setting the tone for a day of rest and celebration.
These practices are more than just rituals; they are opportunities to elevate the ordinary, consecrate the moments of our lives, and celebrate the beauty of our traditions. I encourage you to explore our traditions for rituals that speak to you and embrace the flexibility to adapt as you see fit. By doing so, we not only connect with our spirituality but also pass on the richness of our heritage to the next generation.
Amen.
Supporting a child’s spiritual development gifts them a compass for life’s journey, helping them navigate challenges and discover a sense of purpose and belonging. Communal singing, in particular, is one of the most profound ways we can nurture connection, joy, and resilience in children.
If you’re ready to explore how songleading can transform your classrooms, services, or programs, I’d love to invite you to check out my Songleading for Kiddos courses. Together, we can ensure today’s children have the same opportunities to grow and connect through music as I did—and maybe even a few new ones.
